Here are past interviews of artists that have signings at Soldato Books & Records.

With the upcoming book signing for her debut poetry collection, You Again, on November 8th at Soldato Books & Records, Megan Portorreal shares the emotional and artistic process of creating her dreamy collection, the inspirations behind it, and the power of vulnerability. 

Mia Guzzo: Could you please introduce yourself?

Megan Portorreal: I'm Megan Portorreal. I'm a 34 year old writer, creative, and avid journaler currently living in East Rutherford. My debut poetry and prose collection, You Again, comes out this month, on October 28. I'm a writer by trade. I studied creative writing at William Patterson University and I started out in journalism, but then I switched to copywriting in my late 20s. Currently, I'm the copy manager for three apparel brands in New York City and I write poetry and prose in my spare time. [I’ve] dabbled in a lot of writing, like all of the writing, all forms of it.

MG: This is a shorter question, but I'm sure it is very complex for you. How would you describe this collection of poems in your own words?

MP: Oh, boy. I think it's a moody, intimate collection about love, loss, friendship, and, honestly, everything in between, right? So in it, I try my best to capture the ache of holding on to memories and to people, the quiet triumph of eventually letting those people and memories go, and the familiar comfort of going in circles. This is also where the title comes from, the comfort of going in circles until one day, without realizing it, you come back to yourself. 

MG: You mention in the introduction how all the poems in this collection came from your old journals. What was the process of taking all of your journal entries across multiple journals and making them into one collection?

MP: It was a very hefty process. I have, at this time of recording, 35 journals-- when I started the collection, I think I had closer to 30-- so, it was a lot of going through each journal way back from the beginning. I went back and reread all of them from my teen years, my first journal that I revisited was one when I was 14 years old, all the way up until my 30s. It was a very emotional process, but I did notice that I was writing about the same people and the same struggles. Even from teenage years to my adult life, there were these same recurring struggles of love and friendships that just kept kind of coming back to haunt me almost.

MG: The themes of grief and love are very interwoven throughout your narrative, and you say [in the summary how] You Again, blurs the lines between memoir and poem as well as memory and dream. Could you talk a bit more about the ways that these themes coexist within your work?

MP: As far as grief and love go, I feel that you can't have love without grief, or love without pain. In fact, I think the more you do love and the stronger your feelings are for whoever-- your friends, your family, your romantic interests-- the deeper that pain and that grief will be if and when it were to end, right? So you can't have one without the other. They are complimentary and, I think, that's what makes love very beautiful and worthwhile. As far as blurring the lines between memoir and poem, memory and dreams, I think it all comes back to what your individual truth is. I can have a dream that feels real to me and will affect my decisions in real life, and that will become my reality. I play around a lot with dreams and memories in this collection, and in a way, it almost doesn't matter if something is a dream or not. It's all sort of a truth, you know, and it's your personal truth.

MG: This is going off of what you're saying about with the title You Again, and going back in like this cyclical pattern. “I Think We're Alone Now,” which is the first poem, ends with, to me, a clear proclamation that we're beginning. “He said, 'At the beginning,’” where “Heart Museum” ends a bit more open ended. So what was it like creating the narrative flow of this connection? 

MP: So I think after I revisited all of my journals, grabbed all of these pieces, spread them out, and was looking for commonalities and themes, I did see there was sort of like phases and stages that I was going through in chronological order, from my earliest journals onward, and whenever I met a new person, the same pattern would kind of repeat itself. I split [You Again] into three sections.  “From Strangers to Me” is part one and I think that one's pretty self explanatory. We all start out as strangers, and then we meet these people-- even family, everyone's new to us at some point. And when you're learning about them, your feelings start to grow. That section is kind of romantic and hopeful. Then in part two, [“Love & Pain”] I put poems that were about love and pain, and all of those themes, whether [that love is] romantic or familial or platonic, and the kind of pain that accompanies them-- even some about my dog. You know, there's all different kinds of love in that section, and I try to show the phases that you go through them and the heartbreak that usually stems from deep love and the haunting that you feel after you have had great loss and heartbreak and you feel absences.  And then part three is “You Again,” which comes back to how after all of that heartbreak and discovery and self reflection, you find yourself again. You come back to yourself. You have self trust. And I tried to end it on a very hopeful note, or an open ended note, because, honestly, the cycle will repeat itself. I do think you'll end up back at the beginning from strangers to more. And I wanted the book to kind of feel that way, that it could start over from the beginning once it's done. I try to capture the phases and the cycle of going in circles again and starting over and how that can be a painful process, but a beautiful [one].

MG:  You're having a reading at Soldado, I'll mention that more later, but we're a book and record store, so what poets or musicians inspired you [in writing this collection?]

MP: So as far as poets go, I'm a big fan of Lang Leav and Rupi Kaur. They are huge inspirations. It's inspiring to see women of color start off as self publishing, and, you know, have such a successful, beautiful career from that, and I'm self publishing, so I hope I can follow in those footsteps. I have so much respect for them both. I mentioned Chris Martin in a lot of my pieces-- I love Chris Martin from Coldplay. I'm really into pop right now, so I have to name drop Taylor Swift. Ariana Grande is another one. Her album, Eternal Sunshine is so lovely and cathartic-- it must have been so cathartic for her if it was for me. I always admire singer-songwriters who really are not afraid to wear their heart on their sleeve and write confessional songs about things they're going through, especially heartbreak and love and all of those things. It's so important to hear other people's experiences, you know, and it's very inspiring whenever they come out with any music, because I'm like, “Yes, they're so brave. I want to be brave too. Let's do it.”

MG: I definitely relate because sometimes I hear songs and it feels like, “Wow, I feel this exact way, but nobody's voiced it before.” You said, “I want to be brave like that,” and you are being brave like that.

MP: It is a little scary, but it's just something I feel so inclined to do, and I've always done it. I’m not afraid of being vulnerable. I think, like most people, the scary part comes with fear of judgment and scrutiny, but it's part of the process. And I really admire writers and singer-songwriters who can do that and continue to do that despite critique and the state of the world. It's so inspiring.

MG: You will be having a signing of you again in the Williams Center on November 8th from 10:00 AM to 2:00 PM after your release date on October 28th. Why is it important for you to connect with local venues and be a part of this artistic community? 

MP: As an independent writer, I think it's so important to establish relationships with other independent artists and bookstores, including Soldato, to help support each other in an otherwise very competitive industry. It's so important to build relationships with people in your neighborhood close by and establish this kind of circle where your roots are. I've lived in New Jersey my whole life and it's very important for me to establish that community. I've also been going to Soldado for a few years now. I mostly go for CDs because I collect them, but I also go for the books there-- they have a nice little manga section.  It means a lot to me that Soldato, other indie artists, and stores are willing to support me, give me a platform, and introduce me to their customers. It's important for me, too, to introduce my friends and followers to an independent bookstore that I really like to help bring them business. It's just so important to keep that local business alive and thriving, especially one as charming as Soldato. I think it's such a charming store, so it means a lot to me to partner with them.

MG: Why should people read You Again?

MP: Not just because I worked really hard on it, but I think of You Again as a mirror for the sentimental person, the kind hearted soul. It's not just a book about love and heartbreak, but it's also about the journey back to yourself. It's a comforting, hopeful read. Yes, there is lots of heartbreak and sadness and haunting in it, but it's the perfect companion for anyone who has gone through a breakup, has experienced loss, [or the] death of a loved one. It is a comforting piece that people can carry with them and lean on when they need it. It's a reminder that, yes, these things can be so painful, haunting, and you might need to revisit them again and again. It's a healing process, but it's so beautiful and it's beautiful because of that love and that feeling you have-- and that's so important to remember when you're going through heartbreak, pain, and sadness. It's so important to remember that you feel that depth of it because of your capacity to love and it shouldn't deter you from loving again.

MG: Thank you so much. I mean, I'm sold from that [answer]. Is there anything I didn't ask that you'd like to share? 

MP: In general when I was querying for this poetry book and eventually decided to self-publish, I learned a lot about the publishing industry and how it is really hard to debut poetry because it's not something you can easily turn into like a Netflix show. I think it deters people from pursuing poetry, studying poetry, or trying to break into the industry. It's just so important that we still hold onto poetry as something beautiful and worth studying. There are so many fiction authors who are wildly successful and, you know, I hope one day we could see more of a resurgence in poetry again. Poetry can be a very healing medium and if you love songs and music, that's poetry, you know, that's all poetry. I'm really excited to debut with a poetry collection. I have dabbled in all writing, all kinds of writing, but it means a lot to me to debut as a poet for its brevity, for its connections with musical lyricism, all of that. I hope that people will find this collection inspiring and I hope it resonates with them and maybe inspires them to try and romanticize their diary entries or everyday life. I hope [You Again] is an inspiring collection for people to romanticize their sentimentality and not be afraid to be vulnerable. 

With the reading event for his poetry collection, Touch the Earth, coming up on October 16 from 4-8pm, Aswin Aguinaga came into Soldato Books & Records to discuss self-publishing for the first time, the importance of community, and addresses one of the greatest philosophical questions of our time-- what does it mean to be an awesome person?

Mia Guzzo: Could you please introduce yourself and share some of your creative background?

Aswin Aguinaga: Sure, my name is Aswin Aguinaga. I’m from Union City, New Jersey and currently living in Carlstadt. I’ve been writing since 2019 and this book is like the culmination of those early writings. I went to Vassar College in Poughkeepsie, and then I went to Steven’s Institute of Technology [where] I graduated with a philosophy degree, but throughout my undergraduate education, I did a bunch of interdisciplinary courses, like ballet, guitar lessons… I’ve always liked exploring different creative outlets. 

MG: Before we get into the book more, I want to talk to you a little bit about the process of publishing. Since Touch the Earth is a self published poetry collection, could you tell me more about what that self publishing experience was like?

AA: I went the independent route because I wanted full creative control of the process. It's also easier to just get something out there in the world as opposed to going the traditional route where you're sending out manuscripts, maybe you're working with literary agents, and it's, from what I read, a long process, and I'm just quick. And, you know, I hired an editor [Angela Yuriko Smith], I hired a graphic designer [Sebastian Cudicio]  to design the cover-- it's been really fulfilling. I gave Cudicio my vision for it, and then he executed it fantastically. I'm very happy with it, like it was, it's better than my wildest imaginations, like it really came out amazing.  I've reached out to friends, family members, and everyone's been so supportive and I think that's given me just, just more motivation to keep writing and keep producing more work, whether it's writing or anything else.

MG: Was Touch the Earth a project you had in mind when you started writing in 2019 or did everything eventually start coming together?

AA: I started writing in Vassar. It started just as journaling, and then that journaling kind of evolved into more like poetry, and so that was how I got into poetry. I just felt that it allowed me to express myself and in very unique, abstract ways, right? But then it eventually evolved into, “Oh, this is something maybe I would want to publish and just share.”

MG: Was there a specific time period or year that you started thinking, “I think this is something I want to put all together and end up sharing?”

AA: Yeah, it'd probably be 2022, 2023. I thought I needed to have this crazy manuscript, but when I looked over all of my writings since 2019, I was like, “I have something here, let me just string it together.” And then that's where I had to read all of these poems, and then try to create a sort of narrative that just captures these last few years. 

MG: How would you yourself describe this collection?

AA: It's a Metamodern exploration into the human condition. It's experimental. It's a blend of different ideas and philosophies that I've liked and problems that I've thought about that I think are worth ruminating on-- they're worth going over and challenging and exploring. 

MG: Who were some poets or philosophers that inspired you while writing this collection?

AA: That's a great question. One that comes to mind is Ludwig Wittgenstein, philosopher of language, who thought that the limits of our language are the limits of our world. And that idea, I found so fascinating because then we need to explore our language. I think poetry is a way to kind of challenge our set of beliefs. And Carl Jung. He was a psychoanalyst from like the 20th century [who had] major ideas about the shadow and the Anima.  I think there's elements of that, even in this book where there's different personalities, characters,  and different voices, but really it's all one individuating self trying to grapple with these larger questions.

MG: Could you explain more of the idea about the Self that kept coming up throughout this collection?

AA: Obviously [Touch the Earth] is personal, but I want a sort of objectivity, because we are so entrenched in our day to day lives and our personal experiences. You know, sometimes we have to kind of get out of that and then see ourselves, the self, and how we interact with others and even ourselves. That's kind of the whole point, I think, what is your relationship to yourself, and then ultimately, to the world-- hence Touch the Earth. There's a sort of spiritual aspect to the Self that I've always found really, really interesting. How we interact with it is sometimes interacting with just this other phenomenal world and, and we don't even realize it.

MG: So despite these poems being specific and varied, there are definitely universal elements all throughout. What are some of the universal themes you want readers to reflect on from this collection?

AA: That's a great question. The first theme that came to mind is compassion. It's not as explicit, but throughout the poems, there is a sense of compassion, understanding. Spiritedness. 

MG: I like spiritedness. Could you go into that one a little bit more?

AA: I think it's about challenging, experimenting, reflecting. It's about vigor, doing things with audacity. Intensity. I've personally never been someone to just kind of dip my toes into things, maybe a flaw of mine, but I like to do things earnestly, genuinely. So Touch the Earth tries to encapsulate these ideas of just being a very good, grounded, awesome person.

MG: I love that description, just being very passionate about the things around you and that are happening. That reminds me of one of my favorite pieces in this collection; in “The History of Philosophers” where, and I am paraphrasing a bit, you state how “We are a loveless bunch… yet you grab me and remind me that above it all is Love.” How does love coexist with these themes throughout this collection and why was that important to express? I feel like in philosophy, [compassion and love] are not always focused on.

AA: Yes, absolutely right. As I'm trained philosophically… I was just frustrated with how analytical and deconstructive philosophy and, in general, the sciences are. I was frustrated with that, so I want to redeem philosophy [and] bring back some sort of humanity because that's how I understand it. It's more so like the pursuit of wisdom. it's not, it's not about asking these super deep questions: like what is the meaning of life and is there anything after death? I think there's still a humanity to philosophy.  I wanted this poetry book to sort of be my first philosophical treatise, but it is not a research paper and not a long book about the human condition. I wanted to do it my way.

MG: That idea really stuck out with me because I think with all of these disciplines, there's this sort of apathy that comes up when you're talking about humans and the things that make us human. Is that sort of what draws you to poetry as an art form-- that it allows you to blend these philosophical ideas with that humanity-oriented feel?

AA: Yes, 100%. I was like you [and] noticed a sort of trend in the way we approach philosophy and it's also not new. There's also been like other philosophers, like Albert Camus, who explored philosophy, but through literature. …I think you can very much learn about the world and yourself through literature. And, I guess, I was subconsciously exploring how poetry [and] writing my own literature effectively helped me understand and process the world and ask these larger questions. 

MG: How has writing Touch the Earth changed how you view the idea of the Self or even yourself?

AA: That's a great question, too. I think it's helped me settle into a more defined version of myself. But even that is gonna change in the future. I hope to travel more, maybe start a family. And so I know I'll look back and see [how] this was a totally different version of myself, but I needed to give it life. Most people don't even ever give themselves life, they're just kind of conditioned. They're run by these automatic voices, whether it's ideas their mom told them or whether it's ideas the school told them. It's very hard to find individuals who are themselves– like authentically themselves. 

MG: As you were saying that, I was thinking a lot about social media, as well. Touch the Earth is an investigation of the digitized world and you also mentioned some institutions, like school, that change how people think. Why was that also important for you to touch on, a meta modern world and digitized spaces?

AA: Because we can't explore the human condition. Personally, I'm interested in the human condition as it is, as I understand it now, and that's been through this digital world. And that's unique to my time. Other philosophers didn't have that, so maybe that's why they were approaching these questions more through a very rigorous, structured way, but now we have computers that automate our lives. I wanted to reclaim the world in a way and remove it from all these technological apparatuses, because at the end of the day, we're still human, and let’s not forget that.

MG: I think it was a great way to sort of talk about this digital, apathetic, sort of age that we're in, and not remembering that humanity. This is my last big philosophical question because I've been throwing a lot at you, but let's throw one more. You mentioned the human condition. What is that to you? What are you trying to convey that as being with Touch the Earth?

AA: Great question. I want to go back to that word, spiritedness. It's phenomenal. I don't think it's physical. …it's kind of oxymoronic, maybe, like the title Touch the Earth. I would love for people to be more embodied, to not be so mental. Because, funny enough, that's an issue, too. Like, I think, all this technology has made us so so mental-- we just take everything and keep it in our minds. Sometimes what we need to do is just kind of go back and go back to our bodies, go back to our relationships, and just just live. Live a very present and authentic life. 

MG: Yeah, I completely agree. That was a hard question. 

AA: I loved it, it made me [how] that's what's cool about the human condition. It's an idea that can hold a lot of other ideas. There's so many different aspects of being, to be a human.

MG: You're going to be having a reading of Touch the Earth in the Williams Center on October 16, from 4-8pm. As you're from Bergen County, why is it important for you to connect with these local venues and be a part of this artistic community?

AA: I love interacting with locals. I want to just share it with my friends, my neighbors, and start right here in my home, because that's ultimately the whole point of the book. If there's one thing you get away from it, “all right, let me live more authentically and just just reach out to people and have fun.” After all that abstractness, yeah. Just have fun. Just have fun, it's easy.

MG: Why should people read Touch the Earth?

AA: It is so different from whatever you're going to read. It's very unique and will help you reflect on your own world: like what do you want to do? I think that's also maybe like another theme throughout the book, agency, choice, willpower, action.  Freedom to choose, choose how you want to live. Choose your life, I hope that it's one that's rooted in reality, helping others, and being an awesome person.